Nine times out of ten you’re thinking of dunking your cellphone into the fire or mixing it in the blender because everyone else seems to be sporting a snazzy, sexy cell phone, while you are stuck with one that’s snarky, ugly, obsolete and so unhip that it’s started to look like a pig’s behind. Chances are that you are planning to call it an antique and shove it down the throat of some wacko buyer on eBay.
Let’s move on to the next step – your new cellphone. Now you need to pick up something and jazz it up so much, that you can show it off and make your buddies go green with envy. So, here are the latest ways using which, you can pimp up your cellphone:
1. Turn your cellphone into an ecosystem: In other words, convert your cellphone into an environmental-friendly product and check out the “oohs” and the “aahs” you get when you gently explain, to the opposite sex, how your cellphone actually protects the ozone layer. Don’t buy cellphones that use non-biodegradable plastics; don’t go near cellphones that coat their phones with flame retardant chemicals such as bromine-based flame retardants; conserve electricity by charging your phone as much as is required – better still, there’s a new kind of phone that’s made using bamboo and is powered by solar cells. Go for that. Our planet is getting hotter by the day; at least make your cellphone look cool!
2. Go for total convergence: First, get your cellphone hooked into a mobile radio service – there are many mobile services available and many, many more are on the way. Next, get a mobile TV service going – it’s about 10 bucks a month, but that’s nothing if you want to really pimp your buddy up. Now, get mobile VOIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) going – make calls to anyone in the world using your local connection! Bang, that’s gonna get you some cool eyeballs! Now – here’s the sucker punch – build all these features into a full screen phone! Mobile companies are coming out with full screen phones where everything is touch operated and the screen lights up when touched! Imagine a full screen phone with radio, TV and Mobile VOIP! Cool!
3. Make it burglar-proof: There are applications available in the market that make your cellphone scream out like Bruce Springsteen did while bellowing out “Born In The USA”. Okay, the Bruce Springsteen bit was a joke, but, seriously, mobile applications are available that make your cellphone scream if it is stolen. Not just that, these applications lock in your private data, which can be recovered when you find the phone. Imagine what a technosavvy image you will project! Move over Neo, you two-bit son of an antique!
These are the top three ways you can pimp up your cellphone. Not only will your cellphone increase your social rank, it will also offer you protection from theft and provide you with entertainment when you need it the most – while at work or while studying. Plus, it will massage the ozone layer for you. Now what more can you wish for – Go for it, dude!
Gabriel Adams
http://www.articlesbase.com/computers-articles/3-rad-ways-to-pimp-your-cell-phone-127384.html
What do you think of my joke?
AN ACTUAL ‘CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS’ AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Dat e: 2010-03-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologise for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants.. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologise for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing is sue s, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pur sue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
You like to live in a fantasy world.
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excellent
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May I laugh now???
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love it! except for the phone sex part because you said you have a girlfriend and i think that is a kind of dick-ish thing to do…. but i looooove that jooooke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LMFAO
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all ways a good read
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FINALLY!!!
Someone does something to these IDIOT LOW-LIVES!!
I’m sick and tired of being around them!!
Thank you kindly Mister Alex, whoever you may be.
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niice lol
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Pingback: Drew Larder
Ha ha lol
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As ye sow, so shall ye reap !
Well done Alex.
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Careful Greybeard, this post could be considered ‘chatting’. I have just had my appeal declined and this was stated as the reason. I thought yahoo answers was a place of communication and exchange of ideas, but apparently not.
Love the revenge piece, considering the circumstances, the guy pulling the knife got off easy. There would be others that would have just shot him. Now if only we could do the same thing to the thieves in suits that have shafted us all with their fraudulent banking practises. There’s more than one kind of low life, some of them drive Bentleys.
Keep posting Greybeard, you are, if nothing else, always entertaining.
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lol
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Thanks George, that’s the best peice of entertainment I’ve read in a long time. The misses and I are still chuckling over it, good onyer’ mate, keep ‘em rolling….and a Star as a bonus…
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If it’s "AN ACTUAL ‘CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS’ AD " then it’s not YOUR joke, is it?
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did you say joke??
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supacalaalaespealadoshis
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Oh! would that it were true.
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Good.
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Well George , you have been trawling the net or did one of your contacts send it to you first. My brother has a habit of sending me things like that, he has a few contacts that he keeps in touch with and they generally have things like that up their files. Must say it read well but it must be time consuming to type such a long missive. I just read our kid’s and have a laugh. Like the chap who rang to report a burglary in progress saying there was some people breaking into his shed. The police said they could not come out right then as they did not have the men to cover the crime but would attend later. The man rang back and said no need to bother I have just shot the two felons who were robbing me. Within two minutes there were two cars two vans the helicopter and twelve officers who found the men robbing the man and arrested them. The police rounded on the man saying that he said he had shot the men. The man replied saying to the police " I thought you said there was no one available"
Like yours a tall tale but could be very true.
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